It’s DEATH!

Everyone is afraid of dying. It’s just like that although we all know that its always gonna come our way. But the question is when? Where? How?

When I was a kid I never thought of death. I never thought what death was. How it came. And who experience death. As I grow up, I already attended funerals. And the answers came one by one. And now thinking of death paralyzes me. I thought “What if I die today, tomorrow, next week or maybe next year?” “What if someone I love dies?” or “What if we already know when that love one dies?” “What should I do?”

I am not complaining about death. I know that someday I will also die but what hurts me most is that it comes unexpectedly. To the person closest to me I know that this is a borrowed life and that we don’t have the final say on who’s gonna live or who’s gonna die, we don’t know who’s gonna be happy or who’s gonno tear his clothes and put aches on his head because of grief. But the truth hurts, death is just around the corner. I can attest to that.

The past three weeks have been very difficult for me and my family. We just found out that my grandfather has been diagnosed for liver cancer. And with that, the doctor says that days can be counted. He could only live for 6 months. When my parents told me that, I was shocked. I couldn’t say a word. I kept on crying and crying. I don’t know what to do. He, of all people, diagnosed with liver cancer? I couldn’t believe it. I thought my grandfather was strong, he is a black belter in various martial arts. He was the one who thought us how to defend ourselves. He is the head of the clan. I just couldn’t understand why it should be like that. But how I realized that it’s better this way because now, we spend more time with him. We showed him how much we care. How much we loved him. But another problem is, we haven’t told him of this situation yet. But I think he already knows it. He is not stupid. He knows what kind of medicine he takes. It’s for liver cancer. I think he doesn’t wonder why we always take him to the doctor. We bought him each and every kind of fruit. Like I said, we spend more time with him. He has visitors always. And I think that’s what keeps him occupied. Now it doesn’t matter if he is in a bad mood or not. We don’t care. We always show him that we are always there for him. That we will always be a family. Indeed this is the saddest moment of my life.