'*' ^^ ...a sOmEtHiNg iN bEtweEn...^^ '*'

My family is a closely-knitted family. At home, we always eat together. My father, mother, my brother and I, oftentimes, go to our grandparents’ house and meet my uncles, aunts and cousins there, then stay and eat. That usually happens on Sundays and special occasions like birthdays. But there are times back at “when it is” O.A home, my father would always tell me “Bia, can’t you do something proper this time?” and then my mother would add saying, “You know, when we were at your age, we did what our parents told us to do. We were cooperative in school and obedient at home.” And then they’ll say “Don’t you love us?” Of course!! I do, isn’t that the reason why I have been studying hard to please them? Isn’t that the reason why I always say NO to my friends whenever they ask me to go out even though I am really aching to go with them? Isn’t that the reason why I defend them when my friends say that they’re just being overprotective to me? I defend them by saying “Oh, don’t mind them, besides it’s alright being overprotected to the maximum level. You’ll see.” But my God, it is not alright. With all that they’re doing I don’t even think I know who I really am. I don’t even know what I like doing the best. My parents tell me everything I do. I’m no longer a baby. They’re just like Marcos. It’s just like Martial Law. Dictatorship should I say. They tell me that they understand me and my needs as a 13 year old; however, with the way the things are going, I don’t think that they understand me at all.

You see, I’m 13 and I’m no longer a child, and not yet a woman. I’m just a something in between. Just like last night, my parents and I went to Ayala. When we got up the escalator, a young boy my age (I think), looked at me. I think it’s really pathetic and foolish but my father got angry because the boy looked at me. Then, another instance is when we were in the car and he was the one driving. I was sitting at the back seat by the window when we met a truck. The laborers on that truck looked at me then my father got so angry that he forgot that he was driving and we almost met an accident because of another car. I couldn’t understand. What the hell does he want me to do? Cover my face with a sack and hide? Then t worsen things up, last night, while I was sending a SMS to one of my classmates, a girl to be specific, he grabbed my phone and turned it off, and wonder of wonders returned it to me. So what I did, I turned it on and send a SMS to my classmate for the last time. Then he came back, I was shocked. He got angry and asked me why I was sending a SMS. He then accused me of getting the cellular phone from the altar! Do you think it’s just? He turned my phone off and gave it back to me then got angry because I was using it? I just can’t understand them. They are really driving me crazy.

Sometimes I wanted to run away from them, but I can’t. Simple, I can’t run away and leave them because I love them. I love my parents and I know they my parents love me so much. In fact they are the very reason why exist in this world. So instead of opening my mouth when they start scolding me, I just keep quiet and I don’t even think of defending myself, instead, I just cry my heart out. They may not understand me know but I’m looking forward to the time they would. They may have expectations of me that I seem to overlook, but I love my parents and I know sooner I’ll learn what my roles are. As of today, one thing is very clear, I’m no longer a child, not yet a woman; just a something in between.