Can you define love? To be frank, I really think it is useless to define love. You cannot really tell if it’s there or not. You can only tell if it already left. I have never been in a relationship. But I’ve experienced something closer to that. They say it’s M.U or mutual understanding. I don’t if it was really this “M.U” thing I had with this guy who is now in a “holy place”. But I didn’t know we were already close until a classmate called up our house and asked, “Is he already your boyfriend?” I was stunned. I asked why and she said that it was already the issue in the school because they always see us together. They say that they saw us H.H.W.W (holding hands while walking); they say they always see us talking with certain “closeness” like nobody is watching us and we felt like we were in a world where only the two of us exist. Then I realized that it is true. Every time I’m with him I feel like there is no tomorrow. I am happy to be with this guy. I don’t know why but all I know is that, I am happy with him and that’s it. I don’t care if they tell me that it’s wrong to be with this guy.
It all started on a contest and a joke. We were neighbors since Grade 5 and we used to compete on whom’s going to arrive first on school, and he usually wins. Because of that contest between the two of us, we started talking to each other more often. We say “hi” and “hello” every time our paths cross. We do the same things until Grade 6. We were already classmates in Grade 6. He is a really funny joker (although sometimes corny) and I think that it is one of the things that I like in him. He loves to make me laugh always. Even when the teacher is discussing he sees to it that I laugh.
It all started with his joke. He whispered “I love you” to me. And because I thought it was a joke so I told him “I love you too.” He does that everyday. Every time we meet. Then he throws a flying kiss at me and I throw it back to him. It was like that. As the days went on we were getting closer and closer. And the he sends me a love letter. I thought I was a joke so I ignored it. I continued hanging out with him because he was also the best friend of my “kababata”. I always had fun with him, I didn’t know what happened but I started to miss him on weekends. But we also communicate through the cell phone. My classmates told me that he bought one just so he could communicate with me when I go home. He asked for my number so of course I gave it. He always calls me even in the wee hours of the morning. Even if there is periodical test tomorrow. He calls by 11, (but of course he makes sure everybody is asleep) and then we talk and talk and laugh and laugh until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning (even on school days!) I almost got caught because the housemaid told me in front of my parents the she could hear me laugh at night. I said, “Maybe I was sleep talking” sleep talking? Wow! What a word.
Enough of that, so this guy, who I miss so much right now, we became very close. I didn’t know I have already fallen for him until I started to get “jealous” of those other girls he hangs-out with. I started to wait eagerly for his calls. It was already by Christmas vacation when I confessed my “undying love” for him to my best friend, Hanna. By Christmas, as soon as the clock struck 12 he called me to greet me “Merry Christmas” and he said that he miss me. He asked me if I missed him and I said yes. Of course, Graduation Day was already near so we spent time more often. Of course the usual ritual before a graduation is the teacher asking “Where do you go when you graduate?” It was like that and I already know everybody’s plan after graduation except for his. I kept on asking and nagging him about the answers but he won’t spill the beans. The nagging continued until my best friend asked me “Hey Bia, don’t you know where ******** is going next year?” I asked “Where?” and she said “To the seminary” I couldn’t take it. It just wasn’t right. On Graduation Day, we didn’t say anything to each other. Just stolen glances because are parents were there. I never had the chance to tell him how much I love him and how much I will always love him. I miss him and I hope he is happy where ever he is right now. And I’ll always be waiting.
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